Coeliac Disease and the never-ending story of navigating social gatherings

Coeliac Disease can be a real troublemaker when it comes to going out with friends, spending time with family or attending social events with co-workers. After putting a lot of pressure on myself for years, I learnt that it is okay to struggle in these situations. The new perspective helped me to find a way to enjoy these moments again.

When I was first diagnosed with Coeliac Disease at the age of 21, I did not realise how many social gatherings involve food and how isolating it can be to follow a strict gluten-free diet. I turned to online resources that made it sound simple to be around people and food. Those websites left me irritated and confused as I did not feel comfortable in those situations and I questioned whether I was making it too complicated for myself. Having lived with Coeliac Disease for several years now, I found my way of dealing with social gatherings. Here are 5 tips I am trying to follow:

1. Focus on a positive reason for showing up. If there is a family or work-related event and it is obvious that the store-bought cake or prepared barbeque will not be gluten-free, there will be another positive reason for going such as spending time with a cousin who is not around often.
2. Teach yourself to say ‘no’. It is easier said than done to decline food or drink offers particularly if it is in a family or work environment. I don’t drink alcohol and eat very healthily because of my Coeliac Disease. People often roll their eyes when I refuse food, but I tell myself that I do not owe them an explanation. This is also true when declining an invitation or leaving early. If there is no good reason for showing up and it is not a mandatory event, it is okay to say no to the host.
3. I think learning to say ‘no’ is deeply connected to this piece of advice: be confident! When people realise that the person in front of them comes across as knowledgeable, they ask fewer questions and are more likely to accept the received response. Living a strictly gluten-free life is not a choice, but a medical necessity and it is okay to tell them.
4. Bring your own food. It took me some time to think positively about meal planning and preparation. My skills have improved so much that I get compliments for the food I bring sometimes. If you are fortunate enough to have a body that digests fish and chips or gluten-free burgers, I would suggest stopping at your trusted pub or restaurant and bringing it along.
5. Try to be the organiser of the event to be able to choose the restaurant, coffee shop or host everyone at your place. I still struggle with this piece of advice myself and therefore, I put this at the bottom of my list. I think it comes down to confidence and the group of people. Friends and close relatives will be more likely to agree to a venue switch than co-workers. But some events just can’t be moved to a different place. In those cases, I bring my food, eat in advance or I leave early to eat at home.

If you feel like me and the general advice out there is not that helpful, I hope my story will show that it is okay to struggle with social gatherings.